Things I've learned about Alabama
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Alabama.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama, plus a couple no one's seen before.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
And let us never forget, it's not a garden hose or simply hose, it's a "hosepipe" (one word).
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.
Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
Now on the other hand you know you're from Alabama if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is.
10.. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, chili powder, and catsup. Ain't no genuine Alabamian ever called it "Catsup". Down here it's "Ketchup", ..........and let's not forget peppersauce for the turnip greens!
11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
12.. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and ice storms.
15. You know whether another Alabamian is from east, west, or middle Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.
16. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "going to wal-marts" or "going to wally world."
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather & football weather.
18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example "What kina coke you want?"
19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
20. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Alabama. . and elsewhere around the country. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.