I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Anyway, one day he went to sleep but awoke in his bathtub full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and there was a note on the mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive because HE HAD opened the e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew this wasn't a hoax because he himself as a computer programmer working on software to save the world from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which all computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus /Mrs. Field's cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (This is true-I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, in addition to the free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the email to everyone I know.)
The poor guy then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin slot he jabbed his finger on an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS". Luckily, he was only a few blocks from the hospital, the one, actually, where the little boy dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel. If you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have good luck but to only ten people you will only have ok luck and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS.
So anyway, my friend's neighbor tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his headlights and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.
And by the way, it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.