Men are like

Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Laxatives.
They irritate the $#!* out of you.

Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Noodles.
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Parking spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.

Plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Snowstorms.
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.