Obsession

A cruise liner was hit by an unexpected hurricane. The ship foundered and most of the people on it were drowned. One man found himself swept up on the shore of a desert island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. All he found to subsist on were bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, the guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut milk and longed for his old life.

Every day he fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a canoe and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She paddled up to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I came from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here four months ago when my cruise ship sank."

"How amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are there with you? And how lucky you were to find a canoe."

"There's only me," she said, "And I didn't find the canoe."

He was confused. "Then how did you get it?"

"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I cut down a tree and hollowed out the trunk. The paddle was whittled from Gum tree branches."

"B-B-But how did you manage that?" stuttered the man. "Did some tools wash up with you"

"No nothing was washed up from the ship, I made myself an ax and other tools," replied the woman. "On my side of the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that to make tools. "But enough of this," she said. "Where do you live?"

Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.

"Well, let's paddle over to my place then shall we?" she said. After a few minutes she docked the canoe at a small jetty. As the man looked to the shore he nearly fell out. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the canoe with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"

"Well, I'm thirsty, thank you," he said, still dazed, "but I don't know if I can stand any more coconut milk."

"Then how about a Pina Colada?" the woman asked. "I built a still."

Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made with a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused. "What next?" When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines and smelling faintly of gardenias.

She beckoned him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began, suggestively, easing closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You must have been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months" as she stared into his eyes.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "You can't be serious, surely? You mean I can check my e-mail from here?"