If you work for a big company, you know what it's like when you get your performance review - telling you how great or how lousy you performed. If you are a student, it's sort of like grades with lots of comments. But what do these terms really mean? Here is a version that is probably quite close to the truth.
Average Employee: Not too bright.
Exceptionally Well Qualified: Made No Major Blunders, Yet.
Active Socially: Drinks a lot
Family Active Socially: Spouse drinks, too.
Character Above Reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Zealous Attitude: Opinionated
Quick-Thinking: Offers plausible excuses.
Plans For Advancement: Buys drinks for all the boys.
Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs: Gets someone else to do it.
Expresses Themselves Well: Speaks in full sentences.
Meticulous A nit picker.
Good Judgement: Lucky.
Coming Along Well: About to be let go.
Of Great Value To The Organization: Gets to work on time.
Relaxed Attitude: Sleeps at desk regularly.
Work Is First Priority: Too ugly to get a date.
Independent Worker: Nobody knows what he/she does.
Forward Thinking: Procrastinator.
Great Presentation Skills: Able To BS alot.
Good Communication Skills: Spends lots of time on phone.
Loyal: Can't get a job anywhere else.
Keen Sense Of Humor: Knows a lot of jokes.