The Best of Rednecks
Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? The good ol' boy raises livestock...the redneck gets emotionally involved.
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" she asked. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink," and the person at the desk says, "go ahead."
Did you hear that they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennesse to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum? Two...one to eat and one to watch out for traffic.
An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "'Bout what?"
Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned down? Yep. 'Pert near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in North Carolina...when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas? I-40.
Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of the street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in the bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "Well, if I guesses how many there are, can I have one?" "Shoot fire..ya guesses right and I'll give ya both of them." "OK...ummmm....five?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theatre in groups of 18 or more? Because 17 and under aren't admitted.
What do you have when you have 32 rednecks in the same room? A full set of teeth.