Windows 98 - Texas Edition

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas edition of Windows98 (Win98-T) may have accidentally been shipped outside Texas.

If you have one of the Texas editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Texas edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of a bluebonnet-covered field.

Note also the following:

Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse,

My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption,

Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys,

Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,

Hard Drive is referred to as four-wheel drive,

Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs,

Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

Should you have this version, (Win98-T), please be advised of the following key naming differences:

OK = its aww-right

cancel = hail no

reset = awwww shoot

yes = shore

no = nope

find = hunt fer it

go to = over yonder

back = back yonder

help = hep me out here

stop = ternit off

start = crank it up

settings = sittins

programs = stuff 'at does stuff

documents = stuff I done done

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Texas edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.