"Womens english translations"

Here are some translations of "Todays Women's English"

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

Dumb looks = No

I'm Sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = of course I'm upset, you moron!

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there = No, I mean hang it there!

Honey, I heard a noise = I noticed you were falling asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not goingto like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game onTV

Are you listening to me? = You are not listening to me and its totallyobvious to everyone except you!

We're just not as close anymore = you haven't taken me out anywhererecently.

It won't take long, I know exactly what I want = I have an idea of whatI want, but must try on 20 outfits just to be sure.

Does this make me look fat? = I'm feeling insecure about myself, wouldyou care to start an argument?

Which dress looks better on me? = (I still haven't been able totranslate this one...it continues to defy all logic)

What do you think? = What do you think I think?

I just don't feel good about it = It makes perfect sense, there has tobe a catch

look how much money I saved today = I spent way too much money today.

Remember at our wedding when.... = Ding! Ding! Ding! our anniversarry iscoming up you idiot!

Oh, I forgot to tell you, your golf buddies called last week = I made acommand decision that you were too busy to go golfing, so I didn't tellyou about it until now!

I've got a headache = No loving until you figure out what you did wrong today