Parents' dictionary
AMNESIA - condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
DUMBWAITER - one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING - the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
FEEDBACK - the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME - what you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS - the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY - what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE - a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT - how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
OW - the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PRENATAL - when your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE - a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF - a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE - what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK - where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING - when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL - able to whine in words
WHODUNIT - none of the kids that live in your house